10,000

WOWOWOWOW! 10,000 views on my blog in less than a year? Amazing...but it's all thanks to all of you who spend your time reading my ridiculous ranting and fangirling. I hope I'll be posting more about K-POP this year, but I can't guarantee it.

Anyway, thank you so much for supporting my blog ^^ I'll be posting something similar to this when the next milestone comes around. Oh, and Happy Chinese New Year to all you people who celebrate it! :D

LED Apple's Hanbyul-Talking to the Moon Cover

I thought I'd share this with you guys. If you don't know who LED Apple is, please look up some of their music because they are one of those really underrated groups. Seriously. Also, if you're Australian you should be proud. Jang Hanbyul (Jason) is from Brisbane, Queensland!!! AUSSIE PRIDE RIGHT THERE. Sorry.

Anyway, recently LED Apple has been covering a lot of different songs. They have covered 'Run Devil Run' and Mr. Taxi' by Girls' Generation (SNSD) but LED Apple has put a "rock"twist to it since they're a band that plays instruments-like CN Blue and FT Island. Just this week, LED Apple's official Youtube account posted a video of Hanbyul covering a Bruno Mars song.

Now, I started listening to LED Apple just because of Hanbyul. Not only because he was Australian, but because of his gorgeous voice. His strong vocals are incredible and this song really suited his voice. When I first heard this cover, I couldn't help but notice that at some parts of the song Hanbyul really sounded like Bruno Mars. I'll stop the fangirling there.

If you didn't listen until the very end of the video, Hanbyul mentioned that they'll be realising a cover on Youtube once every week. Next week's video will be a cover of Big Bang's 'Love Song' so go listen to it when it's realised! And subscribe to their official Youtube channel if you want to be kept up-to-date with not only their covers, but their new songs as well. Man, I sound like I'm promoting LED Apple...but please support them. These guys are truly talented.

Alright guys, I hope I've converted you to a LEDA (LED Apple's fandom) :D Enjoy your weekend, and happy Australia Day to all you Aussies who read my blog! 여러분 사랑해요~ ♡

#Happy23rdKiseopDay

It's Kiseop's birthday~ If you don't know who that is, he's the main dancer in U-KISS :)

My drawing of the sexy guy ^^ It doesn't look very good on the picture, but the actual sketch looked good to me. Lately my drawings have been terrible so I was glad that this turned out really well.

He actually tweeted this:

"사랑하는 팬 여러분! 생일축하해주셔서 감사합니다>_< 축하 글..동영상..사진... 너무너무 감사합니다. 행복해요!!!!!!>_<ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ 사랑합니다♡"

Which translates roughly to this:

"My loving fans! Thank you for wishing me Happy Birthday >_< Congratualtion (?) posts..videos..photos...Thank you all so much. I'm really happy!!!!!! >_<ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ I love you ♡"

Oh, if you didn't know, "ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ" is like crying. To be honest, I don't understand why, but the Koreans type that to show that they're crying or they're feeling like crying. They might not actually be crying, though so take note of that.

Anyway, hope you liked this very boring post! I also found out that it was Super Junior's Kang In's birthday and I'm not a hardcore ELF so you can't blame me >_<

Fear and Reminiscence

To dream about memories, only for it to turn into a nightmare. Being compared to others and not being able to do good; that's what frightens me.

From a young age swimming was what I enjoyed the most, aside from drawing. Every weekend I would beg my parents to bring me to the local swimming pool. I would spend hours in there without ever feeling exhausted. Then we moved to a different country, where the beaches were well-known in the city we lived in.

The first couple of years, going to the beach felt like paradise because the beaches where I lived previously were poluted-filled with garbage and the waters turning a murky shade of green. Seeing clear water that glimmered in the sun I rejoiced. As I grew older, the insecurities grew. I was too afraid of being judged by strangers. My urge to go swimming, grew less and less each day. Then came the time where I refused to swim, whether it be at the beach or at a friend's backyard pool. I would tell my parents and friends that I didn't like to swim anymore. They accepted that lie and didn't pester me.

It's been over two years since I last swam and recently I went to a theme park where there was a pool. My friends wanted to go in, I followed reluctantly. As I slowly went it, I realised that I couldn't swim anymore. I didn't want to tell my friends this because I was too afraid that I'd be laughed at or mocked so I kept quiet. While they swam around, I sat at the edge of the pool, too horrified to enter the water. A few days after, I started having thoughts that I had aquaphopia; or in simpler terms, a fear of swimming. I had nightmares that I was drowning, suffocating in water.

I watched a TV program involving children going to a child expert. There was a girl who was unable to express her feelings properly and expert recommended not to ask other children to do something and ask the girl to do the same because she would feel that she wouldn't do it as well as the others. As I heard the expert say that, I related to it. I'm not sure whether my mother used to ask my older sister to do something then ask me to do the same, but I realised that I always felt like I wouldn't be as good as others when trying new things. I thought that maybe that was the problem why I couldn't speak out about my fear.

As my school's swimming carnival is nearing, my worries are keeping me awake for hours. Not being able to sleep until 3am because of that, I wondered how bad it will be when the carnival's within one month. I probably wouldn't be able to fall asleep at all. Although I've finally gotten part of it off my chest, it will most likely still keep me up every night.

That was so last year.

Alright guys, I just woke up not too long ago so sorry if there are mistakes or the if sentence doesn't make sense because at the moment, I don't make much sense.

Anyway thank you everyone for reading my stuff >___< I'm not sure whether I gave you the info you needed on some things but hoped it all helped <3

To be honest, I don't know what to write about so I'll just give you 5 of what I enjoyed in 2012 (K-POP wise)!

5. PSY's Gangnam Style Phenomenon

Admit it, this was crazy. I bet everyone in the civilised world has heard of Gangnam Style and know what that special dance is. Not too long ago PSY was just another K-POP artist but he wasn't one of those pretty boys. He wasn't young either but he still had many fans (like me~). Then came the song that topped music charts all around the world.

I think the world opened up to this because of the music video. It's humorous, doesn't have a story plot, and is not full of the pretty boys most of us listen to. I bet if PSY was sexy like all the others, no one who's never listened to K-POP but hates it wouldn't have bothered to listen to his music but because of the funny stuff in the video plus the catchy song, everyone got into it. Then it became annoying because people EVERYWHERE was overusing the song but that's another story.

4. THE DISCOVERY OF EXO(planet) <-- lol sorry if you don't get it.

EXO is amazing. If you don't know them (but it's hard not to since SM put up a billion teasers just for their debut) they are a 12 member group split into two sub-groups: EXO-K and EXO-M. EXO-K is located in South Korea and EXO-M is located in China. Now, SM doesn't make up different songs for the two. Both EXO-M and EXO-K sing the same songs, only in different languages. The stupid ass intro at the start of their debut music video "Mama" explains everything in a strange type of English...so yeah. EXO is really great.

I didn't get into their music until later in the year when all they were doing was promoting their songs but I've caught up and like every other EXOtic, I'm waiting for their comeback which has been delayed SO many times I wanna kill SM for it. Yeah, if you haven't listened to any of their songs, go check it out! Seriously. Oh, one more thing. Screw the EXO and B.A.P fan war. I love them both and I'm proud to say so.

3. Mnet Asia Music Awards (MAMA) 2012

So if you didn't know, this happened not too long ago in Hong Kong. This is the cause of the B.A.P and EXO fan war (I think). They were both nominated for "Rookie of the Year" award and so all the Babies and EXOtics when of a voting craze. In the end, neither of them won. This random group called Busker Busker did (WHO THE HELL ARE THEY.) but both EXO and B.A.P won a different award each which is good~

Anyway. The performances were super amazing and I was having a spasm attack because Big Bang, EXO, Super Junior, and a lot of my favourite groups were there. I absolutely loved Epik High's performance of "Don't Hate Me" because they were dressed as Batman villains :') If you haven't watched it or you missed the live stream, Mnet's Youtube channel has all the performances up and I'm sure so people would've uploaded the winners' speeches that were given after winning the award.

2. DISCOVERING U-KISSSS~~~~~ <3 (Technically this was late last, last year but I can't think of anything else amazing that happened in 2012 so yeah.)

Ermergerd. You have no idea how much I love these boys. THEY ARE THE WHOLE PACKAGE. They're sexy, free and single and ready too, bingo. Lol sorry I had to do that. If you don't know who they are (HOW CAN YOU NOT) they're a 7 member group that started in 2008 but was only popular in 2009 in their hit single, "Manmanhani (Am I That Easy)". From there, their popularity escalated a lot. I shall list you all their promoted releases after Manmanhani in chronological because only Kissme's would know them.

• Am I That Easy (만만하니)
• Shut Up (시끄러)
• Bingeul Bingeul (빙글빙글)<--Don't think there's an English translation to that
• 0330
• Neverland
• Doradora (돌아돌아) <--Don't think there's one for that either
• Believe
• Stop Girl

You've probably come across one of their songs before. Anyway, in 2011 two of their members' [Alexander and Kibum (that's Kim Hyung Jun's brother)] contracts ended and for some unknown reason, the didn't continue to be in U-KISS. U-KISS' company got two new members: AJ from Paran and Hoon who was a soloist (and formally known by his real name Yeo Hoon Min). Us Kissme's love them all, including the old and new members <3 Oh yeah, AJ went to the U.S. to study for a little while, that's why U-KISS' song Stop Girl does not include him in it.

1. DISCOVERING K-POP ALTOGETHER. (This was 2011 but shush.)

Best. Thing. That. Happened. To. Me. I'm not sure whether it's for the better or not but oh well. Completely changed the way I see things. I went to watch Rise of the Guardians with my friends and throughout the whole movie my friends and I related it somehow to EXO which is really strange...lol.  K-POP really is amazing, with it's endless supply of hot men and skinny girls that apparently all look the same when they don't. Every time someone says "I'll be back" or something, K-POP references always pop in my head and when I say it aloud most people don't understand and they give me the "What the ef" face. 

Yeah, this is a truly amazing genre of music but some people are just too stubborn to open up and try something a little different to what they're used to. Maybe more than a little...(sexy guys wearing guyliner <3) I guess it's less men more share. i.e. "He's mine and I'm going to marry him" If your friend likes that guy too, you either get along so well you become best friends or it becomes the Hunger Games. For a guy. 

Hope you guys like my Top 5 K-POP moments in 2012 (and 2011...) and I wish you guys a Happy New Year. Stay safe, especially in countries in the Northern Hemisphere where it's snowing. All Australia's getting is freakin' hot weather that can probably cook you. So yeah, Happy New Year and I'll see (not literally) you guys soon! Bye~

U-KISS Fanfic- Someday...[Chapter 10] Final

The sunlight woke him as it slowly became brighter and brighter. He tried to stretch out his arms but knocked them against metal bars on each side of him. Kevin tried to hold back a scream of pain. He looked around and found himself in a hospital ward.

‘What the…?’

‘Oh, you’re awake?’ a familiar voice asked. The sunlight shun behind him, making the blurry figure in front of him glow. As Kevin’s eyes adjusted to the light, his eyes grew larger. Kiseop was smiling at Kevin, looking deep into his eyes.

‘K-Kiseop? You’re okay!’ Kevin yelled with joy and hugged him, his grip tight around Kiseop.

‘Don’t worry, I was fine from the beginning,’ Kiseop laughed.

Don’t lie; you were lying on the floor like a fish that stopped gasping for air after being thrown out of the water.

‘Where’s Eli?’

‘He left earlier. I’m pretty sure the nurse said he slept next to you while holding on to your hands,’ Kiseop said with a rather jealous look on his face. Kevin nodded but avoided eye contact. ‘Are you okay, Kevin?’ Kiseop asked, reaching for his chin but Kevin flinched and flicked Kiseop’s hand away.

‘S-sorry, reflexes,’ he lied.

What’s gotten in to me? Why did I do that?

Kevin tried to change the subject but Kiseop would just come back and ask why he flicked his hand away.

‘Are you sick? Did you get hit somewhere?’

‘Kiseop, I’m fine,’ Kevin tried convincing him. That didn’t work at all. Kevin was just flooded with more of those questions until his head started aching from it.

‘What’s gotten in to you, Kevin?’

That’s what I’d like to know.

‘I’m sorry, but can you leave for a bit? I think I’m starting to get a headache.’

‘I’ll get a doctor,’ he insisted. Kevin shook his head and gave Kiseop a fake smile. He left the room and closed the door behind him. Kevin ruffled his hair and groaned. He felt like ripping the hair off his head because he was just so confused. He wasn’t so sure what he was confused about but he just was. With a tightly clenched fist, Kevin began pounding pillow. His confusion wasn’t lessening but at least he was feeling more relieved.

‘Kevin hyung,’ Dongho called from the entrance of the ward. ‘I brought you some food.’ The overwhelming smell of fried chicken filled the room. Dongho had that usual cheeky grin on his face, as if he was always pranking someone. ‘Are you feeling better?’ Kevin just nodded and dug into the food. I heard saw what you did to Kiseop earlier.’ Hearing that, Kevin nearly choked on his chicken.

‘You saw it? B-but no one except Kiseop was there.’

Dongho let out a silent chuckle and whispered, ‘I was standing at the door peering through a gap. That was when I was going to bring the food in but I decided to look to see whether anyone was in there and coincidentally, you pushed him away.’ Kevin gulped down half a glass of water. ‘Who do you want, hyung?’ Dongho lifted an eyebrow and looked Kevin in the eye as if he was trying to read his mind.

‘I don’t understand,’ Kevin muttered. Dongho nodded and pursed his lips.

‘That’s what they all say but you can’t fool me, hyung. I’m smarter than you think.’ Kevin let out a deep sigh and looked away from Dongho.

‘I’m so confused. One minute I was in love with Kiseop, next minute I’m being pulled like a rope in tug-of-war. I can’t seem to make up my mind.’ Dongho stroked Kevin’s hair then suddenly flicked his forehead. ‘What the hell what that for?’

‘For being so stupid.’

‘You shouldn’t talk to your hyung like that.’

‘You shouldn’t play with people’s hearts so carelessly. It’s really scandalous, you know?’ A smile spread on Dongho’s face but Kevin knew he was serious. Dongho waited for a reply but nothing came out of Kevin’s mouth except for a couple of coughs. ‘I’ve already told you this billions of times but listen again. You can’t stay with both of them and you know that. Why do you still…?’ Dongho didn’t finish his sentence but Kevin understood what he meant; it’s just that he didn’t know how to reply. He glanced over at Dongho and couldn’t help but notice the tears that were starting to form around his big round eyes.

Trying to change the subject, Kevin chirped, ‘let’s get some ice-cream!’ Dongho pouted and frowned.

‘It’s winter. Only a crazy person would eat ice-cream in this weather.’

‘You just realised I’m crazy?’ Kevin laughed. Dongho let out a chuckle and ruffled Kevin’s hair.

‘Let’s go then!’

As Kevin approached the gelato store in his wheelchair with Dongho pushing him, a rush of schoolgirls began crowding them.

‘Kevin oppa, are you okay?!’ a few of them screamed. They pushed and shoved, trying to get a better view of Kevin since he was the one sitting down. Dongho was getting worried, so started to slowly push the wheelchair forward.

‘I’m sorry, but Kevin isn’t in his best state so please refrain from touching him,’ Dongho said with his loudest but calmest voice he had. The schoolgirls stopped for a second then started making a move for Dongho. ‘The same goes for me!’ he quickly yelled. Many of the girls groaned in disappointment but others still stared at the two with star-struck eyes.

‘Thanks Dongho,’ Kevin muttered when Dongho bent down to check on him. Dongho just gave him a gentle, warm smile and ordered ice-cream for the both of them.

While they ate, Kevin and Dongho told each other more about their families. It hadn’t really been the best topic to talk about when they debuted so they decided that they should open up now. Although Kevin’s family was currently staying in San Francisco, he calls them almost every night, regardless of how tired or sick he was. Dongho’s family, on the other hand, lived very near U-KISS’ dorm. Every weekend, Dongho would spend the night there, taking care of his mother while his father worked abroad. Both Kevin and Dongho had faced many hardships in life but it was all worth it. Where they are today-making music for the world to listen and the world cheering them on, it’s like a dream come true for the two boys.

They bonded, minutes passing by extremely quickly. They talked more about their pastimes, likes and dislikes and favourite things. The conversation seemed to have lasted forever but it was memorable. It made Kevin forget all of his worries and also made him feel somewhat free. All that happiness he gained during that time, he’s never had that feeling in so long. The joy it brought him was almost eternal; but of course, it was momentary. Kevin felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was a message. He read it and gulped down his saliva.

“Kevin, where are you? I came back to the hospital to check on you but you weren’t there. Also, do you know where Dongho went? That rascal’s always running off without telling anyone.”

What if Eli found us here? Would he do something like what he did to Kiseop?

‘Is it Eli hyung? Just tell him, “I’m having ice-cream with Dongho. Don’t be mad, I’ll be back at the hospital soon.” That’s all you have to say, really.’ Kevin wished it was that easy but replied what Dongho told him to write anyway.

‘You sure it’s going to work?’ Kevin looked at his phone hoping there wouldn’t be a reply but shortly after he turned his gaze away it vibrated in his hand. He turned his attention to Dongho, hoping he would say something but all he did was nodded towards the phone signaling to read the message.

“Sure, but don’t keep me waiting for too long~ Or else I’m going to starve to death (TдT)”

A sigh of relief escaped Kevin’s mouth. Dongho laughed and mumbled, ‘what did I tell you?’ and stood up. ‘C’mon. I’ll walk you back to the hospital.’ He gave Kevin a bright yet sad smile and began pushing the wheelchair out of the gelato store.

‘You didn’t do anything funny with him when you two were alone, right?’ Eli raised his eyebrow with suspicion but then broke into a laugh. Eli had been waiting outside the hospital’s main entrance in the snow just for Kevin’s return.

Dongho pretended to looked shocked and screamed, ‘Ah, hyung! I’m not like you, you know?’ which earned him a punch in the arm. ‘I was only joking!’ he cried as he rubbed his sore shoulder. While Eli and Dongho talked a little, Kevin felt slightly relieved for some reason.

‘Oh, Eli! Thanks for bringing me to the hospital last night.’ Kevin said brightly with a genuine smile. In return, he just got a warming smile from Eli but it didn’t feel completely sincere. He could see tears starting to form near his eyes, but Kevin decided not to say anything.

I wonder why he’s crying?

‘Well, I better take my leave. I’ll let you two have some quality time together,’ Dongho exclaimed as he stretched out his arms for a hug but all he got was a flick in the forehead by Eli. He nearly lost his balance but Kevin caught his hand. ‘Thanks hyung,’ he muttered nervously. Kevin felt butterflies in his stomach when he grabbed onto Dongho hand. He never felt anything like that before. His heartbeat began to race, beating faster by the second. ‘Hyung, you can let go now.’ Dongho shook his hand lightly so Kevin’s began to slip off.

‘S-sorry, I was daydreaming.’ Eli placed his hand on Dongho’s shoulder and bid him farewell.

‘I’ll see you back at the dorm later,’ Dongho called out to Eli as he walked down the steps at the front of the hospital’s doors. Kevin felt a sudden sadness fill his heart. He wasn’t sure why but he wanted to run after Dongho (well, ‘wheel’ after him).

‘I’m so sorry, Eli. Tell Kiseop I’m sorry too, if you see him later,’ Kevin said as he started to push his wheelchair down the ramp that was covered with a thin layer of snow. Once Kevin was out of sight, Kiseop appeared next to Eli.

‘There he goes. At least everyone can be happy now,’ he muttered, his voice starting to choke back his tears. Eli wrapped his arms around Kiseop’s waist and kissed him.

‘Don’t cry. You’ve got me, don’t you?’ Eli said with a smile spread across his face.

‘Dongho!’ Kevin cried when he was a few metres behind the boy. Dongho stopped in his tracks and turned around with a surprised face.

‘Kevin? W-why…?’ his eyes were red and slightly puffy from crying.

Kevin grinned and replied happily, ‘I forgot to tell you something.’ He waved at Dongho, telling him to come closer. As he bent down to hear what was so important, Kevin pulled his head closer and kissed Dongho on the lips after muttering three words: I. Love. You.

EXO-M and EXO-K MAMA Mash Up

This is my first ever Youtube upload~ Yay ^^

You guys like it? Took me a while to mix the two together but for EXO's sake, I finished it! Don't forget to like and favourite too :))

Remember, 'We are one'! Yeah~! ^O^

EXO-M Kris' Drawings

Lol just joking. I collected all the pictures I could find of his drawings and decided to put them together in one post )/º▽º)/

Reindeers

Dragons

Crocodiles

Koalas

Rhinoceroses 

His child, Ace

The Chinese in the drawing of the alpaca roughly states the following (not completely accurate because I can't really speak Chinese even though I'm of Chinese decent):

Name: Ace

Type: Alpaca

Birthday: 6th of November <- That's Kris' birthday~

Father: Kris 

BAHAHAHAHA HIS WRITING'S SO MESSY. And his drawings are so kiddy-like XD BUT IT'S SO ADORABLE. AHHHHHH. The fan who gave Kris the alpaca must be crying with joy :')

Those are the two messages (one written in Chinese and the other in Korean) he wrote, wishing us a Happy New Year~ His writing is messy in all 3 languages he can write in compared to the other members...Lay's and Luhan's were so neat T^T Oh well >_>

Enjoy looking at the duizhang's beautiful artwork ;D

[UPDATE 5/5/13]

BAHAHAHA Just thought I'd share something I found on Facebook with you guys.

Ace isn't in there but you know what is? Kris' latest drawing, a sexy wolf ;D LOL It looks like a pig to me...Compared to D.O's Wolf (which was on either the Kiss or Hug album) this...needs working on.

Who am I kidding? We all know he's terrible at drawing but that's what makes Kris even more adorable :')

U-KISS Fanfic- Someday...[Chapter 9]

‘W-what…?’ Kevin muttered. Eli sighed and let go of Kevin.

‘Forget it. Kiseop and the others are probably on the way to the hospital now so I’ll take you home.’ As Eli stood up and began helping Kevin on the wheelchair, people started to crowd around the mouth of the alley. Eli removed his jacket and wrapped it around Kevin’s torso. ‘Hold it tightly so no one can see the blood spatters.’ Kevin grasped onto the jacket as Eli pushed the wheelchair.

Whispers and mutters followed Kevin and Eli as the walked on the streets. People stared at them as if they weren’t human but Kevin didn’t understand why. Eli just kept pushing the wheelchair like no one was looking.

‘Eli?’

‘Hm?’

‘Why are they…?’

‘Just ignore them. It’s probably because they’ve never seen someone in a wheelchair before.’ Kevin nodded but didn’t think that was the reason for all the scary stares. When Eli stopped at the traffic lights and waited to cross, Kevin turned around and looked up to him. Then he realized why people were looking so strangely when they passed them. Eli had a scar that ran along the outside of his right bicep. Half the scar was hidden underneath the right sleeve of his T-shirt but you could tell it went quite far up his arm.

‘What happened?’ Kevin managed to say, completely shocked. It looked as if his jaw was literally about to drop. He reached for the jacket that wrapped him but Eli stopped him.

Eli looked at Kevin and muttered, ‘it’s better them seeing this than that.’ Kevin immediately knew by ‘that’, Eli meant the bloodstain. The murmurs were getting louder, as if everyone were beginning to not care whether both of them heard or not. ‘Let’s just run home. Hold on tight!’ Eli said and sprinted down the road with Kevin laughing happily. This was the first time in a while that Kevin had felt so happy.

They both waited anxiously for Soohyun to pick up the phone. The dial tone taunted them as they sat impatiently, tapping their fingers on the kitchen bench top.

‘When is that guy going to pick up the phone?’ Eli groaned.

I really hope Kiseop is alright…maybe while we try connecting to Soohyun I should ask Eli something.

‘Maybe we should call later or wait for them to return. It doesn't seem like Soohyun or any of the other members are answering their phones,’ Eli sighed.

Kevin took a gulp and said with a soft, almost timid, voice, ‘Can I ask you something Eli?’ He nodded. ‘Where’d you get that, that scar?’ The room grew extremely tense. Neither of them said anything. Kevin was still waiting for an answer but regret asking Eli. After moments of silence Eli let out a deep breath.

‘Promise me you won’t get angry.’

It seemed like this happened before.

[Kevin’s flashback]

Looks like it’s time for me to put up a show again, Kevin thought, but this time I’ll try to seduce the right person.

…

‘Are you okay? You don’t seem to look that great at the moment,’ Eli asked worriedly and put his hand on Kevin’s shoulder. ‘If there’s anything wrong just tell me. I’m here for you.’ Kevin just sat there quietly, thinking of what to say.

‘Thing is, I don’t know whether you’re going to get angry at me if I tell you.’

‘No, I won’t. I never get angry at what you say.’

[End of flashback]

Déjà vu…hate that feeling.

Kevin nodded and pinky swore not to get angry with Eli. ‘While you were still in hospital Kiseop and I had a fight.’

‘Over what?’ Kevin could see where this is conversation was going but he still wanted to hear the words from Eli himself.

‘We just got into a fight. It got pretty serious. If you look at Kiseop’s back there’s a faint scar too. He didn’t take as big a hit as I did so it’s not as obvious as mine.’

‘You didn’t answer my question.’ There was a big pause before Eli spoke again.

‘We threw glass bottles at each other. I guess we weren’t completely sober but still…’ his voice faltered.

‘Why won’t you answer my question?’

‘ISN’T IT OBVIOUS?! If you know the answer why do you want me to say it? Is it because you like the fact that Kiseop and I are fighting over you? Why can’t you just pick one and leave the other one. If you like Kiseop, stop making my life so damn miserable!’ Eli had hit it right on the target. Kevin was trying extremely hard to hold his tears back. He tried choking back his sadness but the more he did it, the worse the feeling became.

‘I didn’t mean to…’

‘Yes, you did. You knew something like this was about to happen didn’t you?’ Then it all came out. All Kevin’s emotions just came flowing out. The tears kept flowing like a waterfall. He wasn’t sure why, but his heart hurt even more. Was it the fact that Eli had blamed him for making his life miserable or was it the fact that they fought over him? Kevin didn’t know anything. It was the first time in a long time that he felt so ignorant, stupid and useless. He thought his life was becoming better, that all of this was becoming better but he obviously thought wrong.

‘If I’m making your life so miserable maybe I should just leave,’ Kevin cried.

‘Yeah, maybe you shou-wait what?’ Eli looked more shocked than angry now.

‘I’m obviously a thorn in your side so I should just leave U-KISS. I won’t be a bother to you and Kiseop anymore, right?’ Kevin said with tears still running down his face and a forced smile.

‘K-Kevin I didn’t mean that. I was just angry. You know I say mean things when I’m angry.’ Kevin nodded but he still thought Eli would be a lot more happier if he disappeared.

Maybe I should go back to San Francisco. I’m sure everyone back there would be really happy to see me.

Feeling slightly better Kevin muttered, ‘I’m going to my room so please don’t talk to me if you don’t want to feel miserable.’ Without letting Eli speak his opinion, he left and locked himself in his room.

From his room, Kevin could hear Eli swearing and cursing. Although he felt bad, he didn’t want to be a bother to anyone. Even Dongho was annoyed with him.

Why is life so…terrible? Why is God torturing me, giving me difficult obstacles to get pass in life?

Kevin felt like kicking the wall but it’ll probably make his injury even worse. He looked in the mirror and realised he was still wearing the shirt that was covered in Kiseop’s blood. He moaned, still feeling the horror when Kiseop’s blood was shed. With pure instinct he stood up to unbutton his shirt but crumpled to the floor, nearly tripping on his wheelchair.

Well that was stupid.

It’s been too long for Kevin to remember when the last time Eli, Kiseop and him had a good friendship where no one was fighting for no one. He felt like their friendship began to crumble when Eli hugged him in front of Kiseop deliberately. Kevin didn’t want to say it, but maybe it’s Eli’s fault this happened. Everything was fine before he hugged Kevin…wasn’t it?

‘Don’t you just love the smell of rain at night?’ Eli asked. It sounded like he was on the balcony of the room next to Kevin’s. Eli didn’t wait for a reply. ‘It’s been a while since it rained. Maybe it’s a sign that something bad is going to happen. It’s always like this in the dramas, isn’t it?’

Is he talking to himself or me?

‘Do you think he hates me?’

‘He’?

‘We’ve been together for so long I didn’t want to let him go. I didn’t want to lose him.’ Eli started sniffling. Kevin wasn’t quite sure whether he was starting to get a cold or was crying. ‘Maybe I should let go now. It looks like he isn’t going to come back to me anyway. I should just forget, forget this whole thing ever happened.’

‘What is he on about?’ Kevin muttered to himself.

His leg started to throb.

All of a sudden Eli seemed to be talking to himself. Kevin wondered whether he was drunk but decided not to call out and ask.

Throbbing even more, the pain in his leg was almost unbearable. Kevin started to panic. The feeling was nearly as frightening as the feeling you get when you think you’re about to drown. He knew it was stupid to call Eli after saying terrible things to him but he did so anyway because Eli was the only one in the dorm apart from himself. There was no reply. Kevin’s leg started to hurt. He could hear his heartbeat thudding even louder than before.

‘Eli, my leg!’ Kevin screamed in pain. Eli burst into the room within seconds. He looked shocked but picked him up immediately and carried him downstairs and waited for a taxi.

‘What happened? To your leg, I mean,’ Eli asked seriously.

‘It…it just started hurting.’ Neither of them said anything more.

The last time Eli piggybacked me was when I was too tired to walk back to the dorm after practice. How long ago was that…?

After entering the taxi, Kevin was on the verge of screaming because of the pain. He decided trying not to think about it too much but it was hard because of the strong throbbing in his leg.

‘Are you okay, Kevin?’ was the last thing he heard from Eli before everything went black.

Requests anyone? (and Nickhun Fanart)

Nickhun from 2PM

Bam~! xD This was actually a request from my friend...since it's nearing the end of school I'm going to take in requests (K-POP traditional art only). So if you want to request something you have to:

Either

• Request through e-mail- This way I can e-mail you back when I finish your request)

• Request through comment- I won't be able to tell you whether I'm done unless you have a Blogger's account

• Request through Blogger's account- I'm pretty sure you can send me a message somehow... lol

• Request through Twitter or DeviantArt- Just tweet me your request on Twitter and post on my profile wall thing or send me a message on DA

I'm pretty sure that's all the ways you can try to request something. I have too many accounts. Oh if you're requesting by comment, please don't stay anonymous. I want to let you know that I've drawn something for you, not for someone else who requested the same person :)

So yeah, feel free to request something~! It might be delayed but I'll get it done eventually...

Twitter: twitter/ukissmecrazy

DA: deviantart.ukissmecrazy.com

E-mail: melissa_tan1@hotmail.com [No spam please]

Bye for now \o/